I don’t think I’ve ever felt so busy in all my days as a freshman. Or so insecure. And awkward. Today, God has reminded me that no matter how prideful or awesome I think I am, I am nothing compared to Him, and I am no better than anyone else. I am reminded of everything that I try so hard to hide, thoughts that I wish to eliminate from my mind. But I am amused, and I laugh at myself, at my insignificance, but more so, awed that someone will always love me, unconditionally. Thank You for Your show of love, Lord. You truly work in wonderful, mysterious ways.
I went to my first LG today. I was anxious and nervous to go by myself and to be completely honest expected the worst, but was only greeted with friendly faces and beautiful smiles. As I’m writing this, I laugh at how foolish I was to think that they would ignore or alienate me. But I’m also very proud that I gathered enough courage and strength to allow myself to be vulnerable and insecure. I think God really wanted this for me, and I think this feeling of vulnerability and insecurity is perhaps, necessary, to live an honest and humble life, and to grow in my relationship with God. I just want to be real with myself in the face of the Lord. I pray for a summer dedicated towards Him and finding my identity in Christ. Summer 2013, here we go!
“For if we live, we live to the Lord, and if we die, we die to the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die, we are the Lord’s.”
~ Romans 14:8